I come bearing gifts

-Two ridiculous goals from europe this weekend. 'Dinho and my Roma boy Totti.

-Mike Vick apologizes for flipping the falcon.

-The king of the link has another uni watch up.

-Ed Stefanski: Mr Optomistic, as the Nets continue to flounder.

And just a note, my Chelsea Man U prediction was a little flawed due to the fact that soccer games can finish even. But had this been a knockout stage game, is there any doubt my system would have worked to absolute perfection? I will be sure to use this system again on sports created by America, where a tie is less acceptable then eating your kid sister.

Relax Scott...

David Stern has a new elf in his corner...Scott Skiles. Scott and Ben Wallace had a "fued" last night over Ben Wallace's headband wearing. Read about it here. The over/under on amount time it takes for Scoop Jackson to have this story relating to racism in today's sports is six minutes.

He's Done it!

Yes, I have done it. This is the day this blog and I will go down in history. This is the day I solve the mystery of predicting who will win sporting events. This is the day I become a legend. Ok, enough with the Scoop Jackson repetitive mumbo jumbo.Miss Cleo, Hammerin' Hank Goldstein, anyone who has ever played fact or fiction, David Blaine (wait, nevermind, he's just a psychotic piece of whack), and any old dipshit who ever owned a magic eight ball...I'm commin' for you. I have come up with a surefire way to predict the outcome of every team sporting event...ever. Get ready to phone your bookie Vincenzo and place a large sum of money down...I am here to make you a millionaire. Here it is...are you ready...wait for it...wait for it...ok: Go down the teams rosters, position by position, and match up each individual competitor in an imaginary street fight. The team with less head goo spilled out on the back allies of your mind wins. It's that simple...yes, I know I'm a genius. To prove my method, we will predict who will win tomorrow's Chelsea vs Man Utd fixture (like we even need this crap to know who is gonna win).

(all rosters are speculative...and some players may not matchup exactley...but just go with it...cus the system will always be right)



Edwin Van der Sar vs. Carlo Cudicini- This is a tough one simply because neither of these guys seem like they could even beat up the ginger bread man. In fact, Van der Sar looks like a cross between a giraffe and Barry Manilow on the Nicole Richie diet. For that reason, and the fact that Cudicini actually looks like a human being, I have to give the nod to Chelsea on this one. Chelsea:1 Man Utd:0



Gary Neville vs. John Terry- Both captains, both man the backline, but there is only one John Terry. Terry is just a beast, he would not put up with any Neville crap in a street fight. One sharp elbow to the grill and it's done. And remember kiddies, just because Neville looks like he lives in a cabin in the deep woods with dogs named "Mortenson" and "Bosco" doesn't mean he's as tough as John Terry. Chelsea:2 Man Utd :0



Patrice Evra vs Ashley Cole- A picture says a thousand words. Although, I'm thinking of just one three letter word (well, two -- one for Cole and one for the lady they paid to stand next to him). Bonus trivia question: how many beards are in this picture? Chelsea:2 Man Utd:1



Rio Ferdinand vs Ricardo Carvalho- Judging by this picture, Rio appears to be some kind of mutant vampire that can go outside in the daylight to feed on metrosexuals. Carvalho, on the other hand, seems a bit more genial. If, however, Rio bites Carvalho, thus turning him into a mutant vampire, then there really is no way of knowing how this fight would go. Even still, I don't like Carvalho's chances. Sorry, Ricardo. Chelsea:2 Man Utd:2



Gabriel Heinze vs. Khalid Boulahruz- Yeah, you don't pick up the nickname "The Cannibal" helping old ladies to their car. You pick it up by obliterating the poor souls of small village. Look at the guy, Heinze's family would be devistated, because not only did Boulahruz kill their son, he also ate him (insert own ketchup joke here). Chelsea:3 Man Utd:2



Ryan Giggs vs. Arjen Robben- Although Robben looks old, Giggs actually is old. Seriously, why is Robben balding? The dude is 22 years old. Maybe it's a result of the radiation from that shirt he's wearing. Anyway, I'll give the nod to Giggs here since he has the better head of hair and the eyes of a madman. You just know he has a beat up van filled with candy and puppies. Chelsea:3 Man U:3



Michael Carrick vs Michael Essien- Essien's nickname is "The Bison". And if a Bison can't take a 25-year-old still waiting to hit puberty, then I just don't know . Plus, now that I'm scouring google images...everyone loves a Ghanaian Porno...lower baby...lower... Wait, what?!? Who said that? Chelsea:4 Man U:3



Paul Scholes vs Frank Lampard- Unless Scholes has rocket launchers tucked in the rims of his wheelchair, Frankie would kill him... boom. Lamps would kiss his fist, and the proceed to swiftly knock out all of Scholes teeth. Usually when that happens...you lose. Chelsea:5 Man U:3

Cristiano Ronaldo vs Michael Ballack (or any warm body) - Talk about a waste of space. To make this obvious one a little more entertaining, here are some visuals to illustrate the answer here:



no, feeling naked men isn't strange at all.


Chelsea:6 Man U:3

Louis Saha vs Didier Drogba- Louis Saha is a wannabe Drogba. But Saha will never be able to generate the wind of the Ivory Coast with a goal celebration consisting of simply intense gyrations of his arms while blowing air out of his mouth. It's just not gonna happen. Nor will Saha be able to even touch Drogba. I have a feeling in the fight...Drogba would just sort of look at Saha, and then Saha would slowly walk away...trembling. Chelsea:7 Man U:3

Wayne Rooney vs Andriy Shevchenko- Sheva is a nice guy, but let's be real. Rooney has the edge in every category. Rooney's immeasurable experience in these type of scrums would inevitably present him with the opportunity to take Shevchenko's life away. You need visuals...


Chelsea:7 Man U:4

Obviously, Chelsea already has the edge, but just for the hell of it, what would happen if the manager went at it? The Special One vs Sir Fergalicious would be a great match. You'd have some boot throwing against some of this.

Either way, the world will come to see that I am a genius...and that Chelsea will show that they are the best club in the Prem. You're welcome if you win a large sum of money because of me. I expect a check in the mail.

Amado to Chivas?

According Michael Lewis, as well as many other pundints such as Ives, the Red Bulls are preparing to deal Amado Guevara to Chivas USA for a Designated Player slot (Beckham Rule)...amd according to Ives, possibly John O'brian. This has most of the fan base split as many think Amado was a top notch douche bag who whined way too much and bitched out too many people in his Metro/Red Bull tenure...others think he deserved another chance as he was shaping up under Bruce. Everyone agrees that he is/was the best player on the Bulls. But getting rid of this "locker room cancer" could be the key to sucess for Red Bull. Honestly, Amado had more mood swings then a pregnant woman, and that could only go bad with the possible stars ownership is going to bring in. Adios Amado.

And on another Red Bull note, as I do not want to make two Red Bull posts in the span of three minuts...

Is anyone else afraid that Markus Schopp absolutley sucks? Let's recap...

He played good in his first game, good in his second, and then continually declinded. He never gained "match fitness" but I personally think "match fitness" is code for "bull shit"...no, you're right...that totally doesn't make sense...but you get the point...I think. He worries me because of all the sitters he mist right in front of net, especially in the DC playoff game at home with that header. I just hope Bruce has another wing option lined up as Schopp may turn out to be a major bust.

Thanksgiving

... a time for family, food, football, and taking a big dump after all is said and done.

Ok, once again I apologize for the light posting, I have been away from the comp for a couple days straight. So let's recap some things...

If you have a shared allegiance with a team that I support, you are inevitably going to lose you're next game this week. Honestly, someone is toying with me. On what should have been a great week of sleeping in and watching sports...my squads have brought me down...to the point where I found it necessary to rip on the Thanksgiving day parade all...morning...long. "Is that an Al Roker float...or is is really Al Roker?" Honestly where do they get these ridiculous facts from..."You could not conjure up the boredom presented by this parade, even if you watched the Antique Roadshow for 14 straight days." But anyway...yeah...if I'm a fan of you, you have definitely lost this week.

The Giants lost to the Jags on Monday night (I officially hate Monday night football, it only brings pain and sorrow to the world), the Nets have somehow managed to lose 3 in a row, blowing two fourth quarter leads...this is starting to look reminiscent of the way Byron Scott got fired...

I was at the Preseason NIT at the Garden last night, where I witnessed the Tar Heels get upset by the 'Zags. My head still hurts and it's 12:43 the next day. But, I must say I enjoyed the game...mostly 'cus of the three guys sitting behind me...and they weren't even drunk. Here are some of the award winning lines... Instead of the famous TAR (one side of the stadium) HEELS! (the other side) chant...these guys went for more of the CHEER (one guy) LEADERS! (the other two). This one guy proceeded to dub the hottest Tar Heel cheerleader with the name Becky (she did look like a Becky) and proceeded to yell... "I love you Becky!...Becky!...I'm taking the Blonde home!" But the best of the night had to be when the Chinese ticket usher...(ok this is key, so listen up here) who must have been in his late 60s early 70s and awful short and weak looking proceeded to sort out a ticket conflict right infront of us while play on he court was going on...the guy behind us screamed loud and clear for everyone to hear..."Hey! Down in front Yao Ming! It's a seat, not Geometry!"...am I the only one to have noticed that over the past like 3 years...anyone of Asian decent is immediately labeled "Yao Ming"...for better or worse I find it awfully hard not to laugh.

Back to the losing... Chelsea lost to Bremen. This really did not matter as the Blues are already good as into the knockout stage of the Champions League...but hey...it goes with the trend. Oh yeah, and Rutgers lost last weekend as well...who didn't see that one coming? The moral of this story is that if you are heading to Atlantic City, Vegas, or just feel like ringing Vincenzo the bookie, bet against the Giants, Nets, and Tar Heels...and if for some reason...the bookie does EPL soccer, Chelsea is going to lose to Man U. You're welcome for the heads up.

I'll have more posts up later. Enjoy you're food and dumps!

Predictions...

Ok, not only do i find the need to put my worthless opinions on this sham of a site, I now find the need to put my uneducated predictions on here. No, I am not a TV analyst (if you have not already figured that out), but I can guarentee you I am smarter then Steve Kerr, Tim Legler, and a chimpanse (the human's closest relative) combined.

So, this has been a very mediocre strart to the NBA season. No one is that good, no one is that bad. You know it's a mediocre start to the season when that guy from the globe (with the annoting voice and white hair who often makes no sense) who subs in for Kornheiser is trying to tell me through the wonder of the television screen that the Jazz are the best team in the NBA. Excuse me, do you need help sir? Anyways, I'l use that almost related lead in to give you my NBA confrence final predictions. For the West you have the Lakers and the Rockets, and in the East you have the Cavs and Nets. What is the key to being such a genious you ask, I just think those teams look the best or have the most potential when completely healthy. Plus, it is more a case of who is not going to make it. The Heat won't make it for many reasons such as Riley should not have come back, they're older then the chinese food you found on the side of the road, and yet still ate (don't think I didn't see you), Shaq will be out for a while, hurting their chances of a higher seed, and they simply don't have good enough players. The Pistons, while a good team, have lost their edge without Ben Wallace, who seemd to forget to bring his edge to the Bulls with him as they continue to struggle. Could it be any easier to pick the Bulls to not be as good as everyone sayd... I mean, when Skip Bayless thinks you're good...you're awful. The West is a toss up, but I just think Yao is a more agressive player now and the Rockets are healthy. The Lakers continued their good play at the end of last year into this year, as well as young Kobe from across the road finally learned how to share his toys with the other kiddies...good boy.

Announcement

There will be no Giants post today, for obvious reasons such as that horrendous loss last night, as well as the fact that it is not safe for you or you're computer to have "head goo" flying all over the place. Thank you for you're time.

Wait, you're kidding right?

So as I am watching the Celtic vs. Man U game on ESPN, I see on the bottem line that Justin Mornoe has won the AL MVP...WHAT!? Talk about adding insult to injury...not only did the Yankees blow out of the playoffs, but now Jeter doesn't win the MVP...great. Besides being seriously dissapointed...this is crap. It is just not being smart to say that there is a more valuable player in the AL to his team then Derek Jeter. Sure hes hookin up with Jessica Biel now, but that doesn't mean he can't win the MVP as well. I swear I looked it up in the rule book, no Biel rule. But back to why DJ is so valuable...look at that Yankees roster, what a bunch of overpayed bums with attitude issues... or in A-Rod's case...some sort of mental issue. How else does a team like the Yankees even make it through the season without someone being put to death without a captain like Derek Jeter. And yes, of course this article is bias as I am a Yankee fan, but seriously, it's not bias if you're flat out right.

Update:

Yes, I know I spelled "that guy who won the AL MVP who didn't desreve it one bit"'s name wrong, and I am going to leave it as is. That is because it is symbolic...like that literature stuff...for how he didn't deserve to win the MVP...He doesn't deserve my time to find out how his last name is spelled. Kinda like Shakespeare...am i right?

Rant Time

As I write this the Nets are about to lose for no good reason. They are about to lose only because of t he stupidity of the people on the floor. It is un-real the amount of times Vince has an amazing first quarter, like tonight for instance (17 points), and then all of a sudden his teamates don't give him a look until hes had enough time to considerably cool down. I mean honestly, every team in the league can grasp the concept, give the hot man the ball. How do you think Kobe scored 81 points in one game? It's almost like Vince's teamates have a locked point limit for him on the night that he can't get past, regardless of how well he starts off. Then, in the second half, everyone tries to blame him for "cooling off". That's crap. The only reason he cooled off is because his teamates are too worried about getting everyone involved. This isn't a 3rd grade rec league, not everyone needs to touch the ball before you can score. At first I thought, at least tonight, this travisty that happens way to often wouldn't cost the Nets the win, but I guess it is about time it bit them in the ass. Someone, Frank, I don't know, Vince himself, needs to tell the team to feed the guy who is on fire. It's not hard to figure out, it'l just be the guy who is constantly making shots. Seriously, if the Nets have real hopes of winning a championship, this needs to be addressed. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for team ball and the way J Kidd runs the show, but in special circumstances, such as tonight, when a player has 17 first quarter points, it is important to ride that player for all he is worth. Maybe then the Nets would'nt have ended up with a loss.

There go those new jerseys

Unlike most Nets fans, I like the new jerseys. They bring some flash to a dull lineup of boring white and navy. Too bad for my sake they will probably get retired much too soon as the old greys did because of a couple losses in them as well as over-reactive fans sending the organization letters because they do not like them. They run a professional organization and you don't. I think most of the over-reaction comes from the loss, which was obviously just awful. Just because the game was ugly doesn't mean you can blame it on new unis. I'm sure if we win the next 5 games we play in 'em, the jerseys will be a sign from the basketball gods that the Nets are destined to win it all this year. So please, Nets, wear 'em again.

My bad

I have been pretty light on the posting lately as I have been a little busy the past couple days, but you can rest assured, my imaginary reader, that I am back. I'll have some stuff up later today. By the way, my first request post did not go so well so once again if you have any requests, comments, whatever just post it as a comment on the blog or an email will do as well. Thanks.

How has no one thought of this before!?

Seriously, how is this guy, the only guy (at least that I've seen) to mess with the camera while he's on the bench. Sure you always get that "Hi Mom!" crap and maybe an occasional "call me" signal, but you never see anything like this. Honestly, If I was on a college or pro football team, I would fake an injury at least once a half, just so they could do one of those sideline reports on me. The possibilities are endless. You can make uncanny cat death noises like that guy, or just start telling stories really loud about how you beat up a 537 pound black bear on the way to practice the other day, or suddenly have the entire team start calling you something completely different from what your real name is. Say your name is Fred, and your team proceeds to start calling you...Oh I don't know...Botswana Lunchbox...Chris Fowler will have no idea how to fake an explanation on why Fred with the twisted ankle is now being referred to as Botswana Lunchbox. The possibilities are endless. Thanks to Deadspin to bringing this trailblazer of a football player to my attention.

UPDATE:
I know you are all wondering if the video is still funny after the 26th time through. I am proud to answer you with a defiant YES!, it is still funny. You're welcome.

O'Rourke selected in Toronto expansion draft

Toronto had a pretty solid expansion draft, although it is still unclear where all of their selections will end up as a plethora of trade rumors are swirling at this very moment. But honestly, being left unprotected for an expansion traft for a Canadian team cannot be a good feeling. Not to insult our neighbors to the north, but it is just hard to imagine having to pick up and go to an expansion team, let alone in another country. It's almost like a sick game of "Deal or No Deal", only instead of Howie, you got Mo Johnston running the show, yikes. Anyways, I'l have more updates as trades begin to become more clear.

Thank you, Laguna Beach



Ok, after watching the Laguna Beach season finale last night, it dawned on me how I can serve my (imaginary) readers. A dude's voice said to me, "show them the way", and so I must. Here is the unofficial guide to what you should do if you want to be cool like the guys on Laguna beach (which, I'm just warning you now, you probably don't want). Ok it is a short guide, and simply consists of a few phrases you must incorporate into your every day life.

"Yo, we need to ditch these stage-five Klingons, bro." I'm gonna put this all in lamen's terms. This refers to whores who will follow you and your friends around, thus the "Kling-On" part...clever...

Ok, next is what you must say when you see your "broski" (friend) breaking up with his girl: "Yo, dude, I think he's tellin' her to kick rocks over there. I hope not, but I think he's just tellin' her to kick rocks". That is a personal favorite of mine for reasons I shouldn't have to explain.

Another key objective in becoming "cool" is too make sure you say the word "dude" twice in between every other word... I mean, ever wonder why Cameron is soo big with the ladies...there ya go...you're welcome.

These last two parts of the guide are more of overall things you should try to incorporate into how you present yourself. First off, it is key that you work up some major "Dude Sweat"...aka lifting weights...getting a work out. "Dude Sweat" is best achieved by the guys in Laguna Beach, when they decide to go to random public places to partake in sports that they absolutley suck at, such as golf, basketball, or tennis. Honestly, these kids make Charles Barkley look like Ben Hogan at the driving range. Prime "Dude Sweat" is achieved when practicing these sports in abnormally tight jeans and old-school Chuck Taylors...that is like the top of the "Dude Sweat" Pyramid.

If you're still reading, I would say there is no turning back, so be sure to listen closely to the last, and most important, part of the guide. Are you ready?...ok, number 1 rule of being a dude is...act like a complete and utter dipshit. Honestly, I cannot stress enough how important that is in your quest to become a Laguna Beach dude. No time is the wrong time for showin' off your 1.3 GPA. Even in the most serious times, a Laguna Beach dude knows how to break the ice with a mind bogglingly moronic statement. I leave you with the simple quote that will allow you to fulfill your dude potential...

Lady at the front desk of the flower shop: "Hey, do you guys know what type of corsages you want?"

Dude replies: "The flower kind."

Stop lookin' at my lemonade!

Once in every couple of years, a genius set of commercials is developed. It's like a cycle, a circle of life for commercials. You know, commercials like Mars Blackman and Jordan, the almost naked Bud light girls fighting in a fountain, and any thing from Domino's. (Seriously, Domino's comes up with the stupidest, but funniest commercials ever...Hand over that XLP Bro!...it's just genius...and Fudgems, when the girl hugs the Fudgem and gets the chocolate all over her, and the mom just laughs it up. Seriously, my mom would have killed me if i got that much chocolate on me, let alone hugged a strange garden gnome in a brownie suit).

The new king of commercials is none other than the king himself, King James. I think it should be in the Pledge of Allegiance that every young child must aspire to be like Wise Lebron, right after the part about that liberty stuff.

Soccer round up


Lots of rumors have been flying around from both this (U.S.) and the other side of the pond, here's an overview of what has been going on over the past couple of days...

- First off, looks like my Red Bull offseason predictions may turn out to be a little off...but for the better.

- American's are being heavily considered by teams in Europe, among the names are Clint Dempsy and Eddie Johnson. Johnson may want to reconsider that goal scoring thing he did for a little while if he wants to make it in the premiership. You know, that thing where the ball goes over the white line into the net, yeah that's the one, remember that EJ?

- Chelsea's entire squad was in international play over the week...all did well. Seriously, chances are if you have seen a warm body who plays profesional soccer, Didier Drogba has scored on that guy's team this season.

- Of course the Chelsea vs Man Utd fixture will be played in two weekends, and it is a safe bet that every player on both squads is looking past their upcoming opponents. Could be an upset brewing for one of the sides.

That looks like about it for right now...except I feel as if Wayne Rooney is due for another bar fight, or club fight, or fan fight, or...you get the point. Gotta love Rooney even though he plays for Man U.

Gypsy, give me your tears! If you will not give them to me, I will take them from you!



I've been checking out commercials on tv lately. Lots of new crap is being advertised, like ps3, signiture basketball sneakers,... insectaside...you get the point. Here is one of the weirder ones out there for Ps3. There is really no more writing to be done on this...as the commercial is completeley unexplainable. The guys at Sony need to make sure to remember that even though he has long hair, is white, and talks like a girl...he is still Michael Jackson, and it is not a good idea to let him make a commercial of what he sees when he closes his eyes.

Sign her up!

Watch as pee-wee football parents go ape because the ref tossed a coach for arguing. See number 59, Davilla, I'v heard rumblings that the Giants are looking to add her to their deplpeated linebacking core...and I am deffinatley in favor of the move.

Red Bull offseason



Now that the MLS Cup final is finished (congrats to the Dynamo), the focus turns to what offseason acquisitions the Red Bulls will look to make this offseason. Obviously, the biggest need is to upgrade the midfield and the forward position with players who can score goals. One of Red Bull's biggest problems this past season was simply putting the ball in the back of the net, and that is to be expected with the revolving door of players coming through at forward. One forward has established his place in this next season's starting lineup, Josmer Altidore, but Bruce will be looking for a partner for young Jozy up top. Ronaldo has long been rumored to come the Red Bulls way eventually, but it is anyone's guess as to if it will be this year or 2008.
My guess is 2008, and the Red Bulls will look inter-MLS to pick up a forward, maybe someone like Taylor Twellman who has a Red Bull endorsment contract, or Nate Jaqua, as he has been left unprotected for the expansion draft, showing Chicago may be willing to let go of him.

I think the Red Bulls will use their Designated Player spot on Louis Figo, as it is sounding more and more like he is a legit target for the club and not just some fairytale. I also expect Bruce to bring over Reyna, as Man City is looking to clean house and his contract is up after this season. Expect Red Bull to trade for another designated player spot as well, but maybe to save it for possibly Ronaldo in two years. I believe Amado will be staying with the club, unless Bruce sees a great trade opportunity for a forward or another creating midfield player. That brings us to the back four which is up in the air. Dunivant and Wynn are obviously staying put, but while Park and Mendes had solid seasons, Bruce seems to think that he may be able to find better. All that is certain is that Bruce will shake things up a bit, if not alot.

UPDATE: Maybe Ronaldo is closer then I thought about 5 minutes ago. This next season is starting to seem more in the realm of possibilities for Ronaldo and Red Bull to strike a deal, as it seems that negotiations of some sort have already been taking place in one way or another. Just as a note, it does no justice to try and explain the influence this would have, even just strictly at a team level. Having, arguably, one of the greatest forwards ever, tutor young Oatmeal (Jozy Altidore),is a dream scenario.

Yanks re-sign 37-year-old Moose




It has been reported that the Yankees have resigned Mike Mussina for another two years. I like that they are acknowledging the fact that pitching is their main problem, but in my opinion, their even bigger problem is age. The Yankees are getting old fast and although they have good field position prospects (Melky, Phillips), and now a handful of pitching prospects from the Sheff deal (along with the most obscurley hyped farm system pitcher ever, Phillip Hughes. This guy honestly gets at least 3 to 5 mentions in the papers a week) the amount of proven, young talent that they have in their rotation begins and ends with Wang. I think if the Yankees want to get back to the top, they are in need of proven, young talent in the rotation, not pre-schoolers and AARP card holders.

Oh no, there it is again...

That sick feeling that only a sport like tennis can give you. A sport with no jersey, no helmet, no face mask, nothing to hide behind. A sport where it is mano-a-mano for however long it takes. A sport with unbridled intensity, the ultimate battle of wills for as long as it takes to get the job done. With a sport like this, it is hard not to get this stomach-in-your-throat feeling when watching Roddick fall to Federer...again. I thought the same thoughts all over again for all of the battles between these too -- I even said it out loud, again, "I think he's gonna do it. He's gonna do it." I should have known right then and there that i was setting myself up for that feeling, that sick feeling that overcomes you when you're pulling for someone so hard, that it causes you to tremble with each point.

With Roddick, you feel like you know him. He let's you in when so many athletes push the public away. He has it all. The game, the humor, the realness, the intensity (that word keeps coming up), the fist pump...oh the fist pump (plus the scream of course). This guy just can't seem to get over that hump, that mountain, that Federer. The time could have been the two Wimbledon finals, it could have been a few short months ago at the US Open final, or it could have been today. We can only imagine how much this weighs on Roddick's mind. He is American tennis. But the fact that he continues to stay positive every time he goes down, is what will inevitably propel him to beat the guy. And when he does beat him -- and trust me, it will be soon -- maybe even later in this event, all the losses and struggle he has gone through will make that win all the sweeter for Roddick. And when that day comes, the sky will be the limit for Roddick, and nothing will seem impossible again.

(In case you were wondering, had this post been a SportsCenter feature, it would have been shot in a soft focus with twinkling piano music in the background. It would also be nominated for multiple Cable Ace awards.)

Alright, let's hear it...



Apparently I actually do have some readers and/or internet stalkers out there, so if any of you have suggestions as to what you would like to read about, feel free to pass them along to me at ctdal16@yahoo.com. Consider this like a request line. But I will not be playing Free Bird, so don't even ask.

Contrary to popular belief...

professional tennis is played after the US Open. The year end Masters Cup in Shanghai is being played right now and the Americans are beasting it so far. My boys A-Rod and Blake both won their first round matches in the round robin format. It's Good to see Roddick playing well after an American let down at the Davis Cup. The bigger first round story has to be Blake though, who at the butt-crack of dawn this morning, put the hurtin on Rafa Nadal. Yes, you read that right.

Next in line for an American thumping, courtesy of Roddick, will be none other then Roger Federer. And I already know what you're thinking and the answer is no, I am not on acid. I mean, Roddick is due for a win against Fed-Ex, even if that type of baseball home run logic has no relevance to tennis whatsoever. For those of you not into tennis, think of Federer as Tim Duncan, but instead of having no personality like Duncan, Federer just has an awful sense of humor. Yeah, I knew you were a Roddick fan all along.

Thank you, David Stern

Now I see why that new basketball thing was a good idea...and I'm sure after some complaining in training camp, Vince will agree with me too. On top of that shot falling, saving the Nets from what would have been the most painful two game losing streak, now RJ may be back by Wednsday. Talk about a momentum swing.

Giants ball against the Bears tonight

Jim Jones has done a Giants style remix to his "We Fly High". Too bad about 90% of the players he mentions in the remix are out for this game. Oh well, I guess it is all on guys like Jay Feely to keep the ballin alive. Although he seems like more of a "Lean wit it" kinda guy.

I didn't know white people could dance like that.

This is exactly what Team USA needs



Somebody needs to teach Keller or Howard how to do this.

Chelsea is hungry for Salami

Chelsea are lining up a January move for teenage Nigerian midfielder Adigun Taofeek Salami, who plays in Denmark. (Sunday Express)


If this is the case I may definitely have to put up the dough to have Salami on the back of my Chelsea shirt.

It's about damn time

I have been waiting all week to be able to post this without it just being a rumor. Just a few minutes ago, the MLS announced that it will be implementing the "Beckham Rule" into its salary cap structure starting next season. Now these rumors of the likes of Figo and Beckham coming to the MLS are not so far fetched with the kind of money that they may well be offered this offseason. Regardless of whether this rule is instantly used on celebrity soccer stars, or just on players with a little less name but just as much skill on the pitch, it will without a doubt increase the level of play on the field, and that is what will ultimately bring soccer into the mainstream of America.

Stuff

-The hits just keep coming...RJ out 4 to 8 weeks

-Awful transfer rumors all week: Adu and Man U, Torres and Man U, Arsenal and Richards... Common Roman, throw em the funny money, you know you want too. But supposedly Chelsea will pickup former Celtic keeper Magnus Hedman.

-Becks possibly to Revolution...Guess that is why they call them "rumors".

-Drogba with another hat-trick, this time against Watford. He is just killin kids.

-And last but certainly not least... I know this is a little late but I have to give Rutgers their shine, and I hope that this guy didn't get too excited over the win if you know what I mean.

Excuse me for not wanting to feel like a complete waste of life

I apologize to any of you who partake in this absolutely ridiculous endeavor, but am I the only one who thinks it is way more then a little sad to camp out informs of your local video game store waiting for the arrival of PS3. Sure, I want one as much as the next guy, but I guess not enough to loose all of my dignity. Kinda like these guys. Is he really cracking open a bottle of wine?





















Guess these are your "up scale" campers...Then you have this guy...


This is the kinda guy that really needs to reexamine the first half of his life, and let go of his life long dream to be the next Don Vito. It's just not not gonna happen pal. Good luck with ever amounting to anything.

Where have I seen this before?


Every Nets Heat game follows the same pathetic, rage inducing pattern. Close in the 4th quarter...couple missed free throws here...couple turnovers there...and the daggers from Payton and 'Toine...uhhh. But I am here to look ont he bright side, 78 more. That is all I can think of at this point, 78 more. We all need to just take a deep breath...relax. Just as Jack Nicholson taught us...goosefraba...goose Blah Blah...

The Sheff is Thrown Out of the Kitchen





Sheff is traded from New York for three guys I have never heard of....nice....I guess. Sheff was a favorite of mine. Sure he would make ridiculous threats to the front office, and would say absurd things in the media, but that batting stance was simply unreal. I'll miss ya Sheff, and lets hope these three prospects can pitch well, because that would be why we traded for them...right.

By the way if anyone was wondering my dad's thoughts on this subject, lets just say he's not quite the Sheff fan that I was.

Me: Did you hear Sheffield got traded

Dad: Well good, I hate that guy.

And there ya go...

Yahoo! Sports Article

Yeah, it's a pretty big game...for being the 4th game of the season.




The biggest game of this young Nets season will be played Friday night at the swamp against the team I might possibly hate the most, the Miami Heat. Zo is reason enough, another would be the fact that Gary Payton feels it is totally cool to just jump on any good team's bandwagon as his career winds down to achieve his goal of a ring. Congratulations, you have accomplished nothing, I legitimately accomplished more by winning my 5th grade rec league (Yeah Harding Blue). On top of those two, you have Antoine Walker, he shakes me to my core. The floppy socks, the way he dribbles like the hardwood is actually on fire, the shimmy....oooohhh the shimmy. But anyways the reason I am writing this is because this is the game for the Nets to make that statement to all the dumb announcers (Steve Kerr) and media types who say the Nets are good for nothing more then a second round bow out of the playoffs. The bench is there now. Marcus Williams is a player, Wright is a player, and Mikki Moore has ridiculously awesome socks, like the anti-walker. Most of all the starting lineup is there. Vince played awful the other night and still had 30, Richard learned how to shoot again, and like John Henry was born with a hammer in his hand, Jason Kidd was born with a triple-double on his stat sheet. This is the chance for the Nets to not have to battle a tough start like the last few years, this year they can actually start how championship contenders start, with big wins. Plus if Vince loses the limp for Friday, we will have some of this action on our hands... and we all love some of that action.

Let it rain!


But first, let's officially mark our territory with an inaugural google image....



This is exactly how I imagined it would be...


OK, here is the always boring, never interesting, crappy first post:

My teams are the Nets, Yanks, Giants, Chelsea FC, and Red Bull NY (yes, I like soccer...). I'm a tennis fan, golf fan, anything nuts on espn 2 fan, and nothing infuriates me more then 48 straight hours of black and white, hardly visible, unbearably boring boxing on espn classic. I could go on, but do not feel like adding any more holes to my wall at the moment. You got to save that for the important stuff, like losing a fifa game in a penalty shootout where the goalie doesn't move, even when you're pressing your little psp nub as hard as possible, he still doesn't move! AHH.... OK, I'm back...

Regardless of what you may think, I do have interests outside of sports...like tv...and stuff... anyways just because I want to be honest, time to air it all out, I consistently watch Laguna Beach, and yes, I have a sack. How can you not love seeing all the bros, tellin the gnarly girls to kick rocks. To regain my imaginary fans now... My favorite shows are The Office ("Jim Look" to the fake camera in my room) and Two and a Half Men, that kid Jake would honestly be my best friend if I knew him. And no, I'm not a pedophile.

OK, glad that is out of the way...